6.20.2008

so, you had a bad day...

Today was a good day for me... it didn't start out that way! Definitely not! I woke up, checked my email and puttered on the computer for awhile. Facebook is awesome and at the same time, can be a major negative for my contentment levels - especially when I see many of my college friends posting pics of their children or just plain enjoying their children. There is a crazy ache inside of me that starts throbbing and logically - I know that God has a plan, I know that we are blessed in ways others aren't, I know all (okay - not ALL, but a lot!) of the logical, practical (even theological) aspects of why I should be content and feel totally blessed - but instead, I find myself feeling dejected and miserable and wanting what I don't have. Add to that a few other issues that have left me stressed and we've got the perfect recipe for Disaster Day!

However - it didn't stay that way! Honestly! My mom called... and I just spent some time venting and crying. Then, Cory's mom called and we had a really good talk - Thanks, Moms! Then, tonight - I went to a Multimedia Team meeting/training. At the risk of sounding arrogant, its nice to be good at something! I'm not perfect or an expert - but it feels good to be doing something I enjoy. And it feels good to be contributing and "in the know."

After the meeting, I just visited with the Saluzzos for about 15 minutes. Mere has always made me feel as if I have something to offer - from the first time I met her. :) She's has this incredible talent at making me feel like inlcuded and wanted. Pretty cool. It was nice to visit with their family for a little while.

What is a bad day or a good day - other than our attitudes, right? I mean - really crappy things could happen, but if our attitude was optimistic and positive, it wouldn't seem so bad. On the other hand, wonderful things could happen and a pessimistic attitude ruins the day. I guess that is why JOY is a choice and not simply a feeling. If only I could make that truth real in my every day life.

1 comment:

becky said...

Hey one-of-my-favorite-girls of all time!!!! You know so well not to doubt what God gives you and I look up to you for that. Sad coming from someone that is so much freakin older than you. I love you so much and I know that God has some really awesome plans for you. You just have to remember Sara right now! You have so much to offer and I think that God is really seeing that right you have to offer so much for others right now, that HE is GOING to give you what you need to do right here today. His plan is so right and I have to remind myself that everyday. There are so many things that I want to do, but I have to let HIM lead me where He wants me. I know that someone somewhere needs something specific that only I can give them and once that duty is fufilled He will bring me to where I should be next. I used to feel that I was only there as a filler for a place that was lacking, but you and that wonderful husband of yours showed me that I am brought to the place where I am needed when I am needed. I was royally PO'd when God took away from me the only two people that were completely honest with me and showed me the real love and truth away from me, but I see that He brought you to me when I needed a good slap right in the face to see that I am loved and that I needed to learn something. Wow, how could I ever have questioned the Almighty? I miss you so much, but I know that all you and Cory taught me was exactly what I needed at the time. What is a bad day? Its a day that God says, Hey you, I love you more than anyone and I will never forsake you!!!! When you forget that, I will be sure to show you that all My love is forever and always will be. Who else could say that to us without us doubting the truth? NO ONE!!! That is why I know that you are so special even if you have one of those days that you don't feel special. The impact you have on so many people may not be expressed in a way that makes you feel that you are important, but that is what is supposed to happen. You are always important to me girl and I don't think that could ever be taken away. I love you!
Bec