...the only thing...

...we have to fear is fear itself—nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance. ~FDR

I've always heard the first part of that quote... but the second half of the sentence is so true! I am paralyzed by fear way too much. Just this nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror!

I have some minor, outpatient surgery next week and if I dwell on it this big hunk of fear clogs up my throat! Anyways - I've tried to analyze what I'm afraid of... the doctor messing up and lasering off something vital? nope. having one of the hundred million possible complications? nope. (total exaggeration, Mom! there's only a few VERY RARE complications.) being in tons of pain? nope. I'm just afraid. I don't know why. its not logical. it just is.

but, there are other things i'm afraid of... things more important than a tiny operation... and they paralyze me. When I was a little girl, when I'd wake up in the night from another horrible nightmare - I'd try to lay as still as possible ... because if I laid very, very still "they" wouldn't see me. For some reason this response hasn't changed - when I get scared, I freeze. Whether that's from a weird noise at night or some new chapter in life. But, I don't want to be defined by my fear.

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. II Tim 1:7

And I don't have to live frozen in my fear - because I have a God that is pumping me full of power, love, and even self-discipline. So, instead of hiding in fear, I want to be facing the fear head-on, with all the power of God behind me.