i want that

had an experience the other day that for me really challenged me and where i'm at right now. it's funny how when we get around other people there's unplanned and unanticipated moments where God uses their life to point you in a direction you need to head.

we were just about to start a student leadership meeting (all of our ministry teams come together once a month for lunch, training, discussion, and prayer). as the meeting was just about to get started some things occurred that absolutely torqued me - my blood was boiling. i knew it needed to be addressed in the meeting, and i knew i needed to use a specific passage of scripture, namely the one where the disciples are arguing about who's gonna be first in the kingdom, and Jesus comes at them and says the famous line 'whoever wants to be great among you must be a servant of all'. i felt like as a team we were really missing the boat on the heart of leadership - that at it's core it's completely about selflessness and servant-based. i knew this passage was right for it...but i had a problem... i couldn't find it. i searched and searched, but came up empty. the dinky concordance in the back of the bible i had wasn't cutting it. it was like it had entries for "jesus" and "God" and "love"...but nothing else. i asked some of our adult leaders if they knew where it was, and they began pulling out their bibles and searching as well.

finally i knew the meeting had to get started. in one last effort, i asked one of our other adult leaders who's known for spending hours upon hours reading and studying God's Word if he knew where it was. after asking, he said...'give me a second'...and literally i stood there for 5 seconds watching him close his eyes, think really hard, and then he said: 'mark 10'.

i turned there, and sure enough mark 10:35-45 was exactly what i was looking for. amazing.

as i left the meeting for the next thing in my schedule, all i could say in my mind and heart is 'i want that'. i want to be able to have read, stared at, breathed in, meditated on, looked at, and studied up God's Word to the point where i can just shout out where something is on command. not to puff my already stuffed ego up any higher or give myself some sense of spiritual elitism... but to be able to use His Word as it was designed. any soldier over in afghanistan knows how to use his gun - he knows how the specific parts of the gun were designed for different functions, and he's been trained and is ready to use it when needed.

i want that. wow...i want that!

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