high strung ramblings

i feel high strung right now...like a ride i went on at darien lake earlier in the summer - we got in this metal ball and these giant springs scrunched down as tight as possible before releasing us to what felt like thousands of feet in the air. i feel like that spring just about to be released, which is good cuz i'm learning that i'm addicted to speed and like it alot (speed meaning velocity...not the drug). it's been an emotionally draining past few days filled with tough calls and hard decisions. we all have to make them, but they're never easy and it never seems that there's one 'textbook' answer for each one. formulas are nice, but i'm learning they don't always happen in life. i guess that's where the faith factor kicks into high gear as it forces us to trust the one who DOES have it all figured out, and then let the decision go into his hands. i'm trying to learn how to trust and let stuff go, and i'm also learning that sometimes i think without my presence things would fall apart. it's another disturubing realization...because it tells me in my subconcious that i have too high of a view of myself, or too dimished a view of God...or even scarier...both.

i'm also learning that there's some things in life you bet on and some things you don't. i set my fantasy football team every week, almost completely based on the projections of others who work at espn. i anticipate what people will give at church, and plan a budget accordingly. i bet on what money will come in for an event and spend the money knowing/praying it'll all come in. i'm probably a somewhat moderate risk taker, and there's a certain adrenaline and excitement that i get from taking risks. but i'm trying to learn this one loud and clear: i don't bet on people's safety when i'm called to protect them. i don't care what others say, what the projections hint at, or the guilt trips that come with it...i don't bet on other's safety.

on a different note, we had an incredible thursday last week with the teens. we were kind of "kicked out" of the youth room as some home meetings were going on in there as part of the building campaign at lcc. so, we took over the auditorium for the night and brought in some super special people. we're in the middle of our 'extreme makeover youth room edition' series as we try to get the teens to become part of the process for the new building as well as to challenge them to sacrificially give to the campaign over the next 3 years. here's pictures of our ty, paul, and paige:

chris is the head architectural designer of the building, dan is heavily involved in the construction of it, and kim is our interior design consultant. they were so much fun to work with and their enthusiasm easily spread to the students. we got the teens into 'think tanks' for about a half hour and their ideas for how to design the youth room were quite amazing...many of which are actually doable (except for the hot tub...that one might not fly).