processing from a place of hope

We returned on Tuesday of last week from our 3 week trip to Mozambique, fresh with great memories and at the same time heartbreaking experiences. On Thursday and Friday we attended the Leadership Summit at our church, an annual leadership training event that always encourages us and challenges our thinking. I was definitely curious this year to see how the moments of disequilibrium would pan out with the two events so close to each other.

One of the speakers, Christine Cain, spoke of her great work rescuing girls trapped in the sex trafficking / slave trade. At the beginning I just wanted to walk out. My emotions were about at their breaking point. I think I had come to a point where I saw so much pain, poverty, sickness, and hunger in Mozambique that I didn't want to hear about more injustice and insurmountable pain around the world. It just seemed too overwhelming and hopeless. But I kept listening.

She said something profound that has freed my mind and heart to process all of this. She was talking about her own process when she first got started in her work, and she identified with the same thoughts I was thinking. She threw out the number 27 million... 27 million girls involved against their will in the sex trade, most of whom don't make it out alive. All for money and to please a bunch of horny men. She admitted that the number just seemed too great...what can I, one person possibly do to help 27 million?!?!? And that's exactly the question I've been asking too.

And then she challenged us to not look at the big number "27 million" anymore. Let it motivate you to get involved. But once you sign on to get your hands dirty, set the number aside. Because the reality is that there are 27 million "1's" within that number. Individuals. Each with a unique name and face and personality. She shared how when we look at the big number we depersonalize the need and remove ourselves from a place of hope. But when we look at the "1's" it gives us hope that we really can make a difference.

I don't know about you but that changes the game entirely! I immediately thought of all the "1's" in the project in Mozambique who are being fed, clothed, educated, and discipled. And it's given me a framework in which to process through. Over tne next few weeks I hope to record some thoughts about some of the "1's" we met in Mozambique. Lives are truly being saved and individuals are really being delivered from the generational clutches of poverty. But you can't look at the big numbers to see it.

messed up

it's hard to believe that just 2 days ago we got back into rochester after spending 3 weeks in mozambique. in about an hour the leadership summit will begin here at the church. and tomorrow night as soon as it's done we'll be taking off for a week of vacation in VA. i'm feeling all kinds of emotions this morning and i feel really messed up...

i feel incredibly blessed and grateful for the opportunity to not only have so much ministry training (like the leadership summit) available to me all the time, but even more so to be on staff at a church that hosts this high caliber event (and to have a boss that would MAKE me attend if i didn't want to). this event is actually called the "global" leadership summit because the feed is being sent to sites all over the world... but my heart still breaks for the many places like mutondo, mozambique - where leadership training like this may never touch. maybe it doesn't need to ??? i'll never forget meeting with the men and church leaders at the church plant there in mutondo: their questions, their eagerness to learn, and their resolve to lead their village to Christ.

every now and then i'll be driving down the road or doing something normal and my eyes will tear up as i think about fernando, captain, afonzo, ercilio, augustino, ohmi, zito, manuel... and so many others. i miss our friends in mozambique so bad right now... and words can't describe the bond that's been forged. will i see them again? i hope that our trip validated their existence and encouraged them to continue on in their great work and to not give up.

on vacation i hope to be able to blog a lot more about what we saw and experienced in mozambique, as well as some of my takeaways from the leadership summit. hopefully that will help in the process of sorting all these emotions out in my head. it's hard right now.

kids shouldn't get HIV

Today I visited El Shaddai - the elementary school here in Dondo, Mozambique. It's a private school that is many ways the backbone of the entire Ray of Light project. As children receive an education they are more likely to escape the poverty around them and change the culture. They are doing a great work. Our student ministry back home just started supporting 3 children here in Mozambique who are or will be receiving an education at El Shaddai as a result. So it was with great interest that I hung around the school today. No agenda or plan...just to be there and pray for the kids as they walked by.
About an hour into my visit and I was asked to pray for some of the kids who the teachers felt needed extra prayer. So in they came... One with some aggressive behavior issues, one with some learning difficulties, and then some more with behavior problems. I introduced myself...we conversed a little, and then I prayed for them.
Then they brought in a child and they told me to pray for him because he has HIV. With compassion in my eyes I tried to converse and let him know I loved him more than he could maybe imagine. That I wasn't afraid of him. Inside I was breaking apart. I wish I could've walked out and taken him home with me.
I struggled through the prayer, but I could barely finish without crying. Kids shouldn't get HIV.
It was a hard sight to see and I'm not sure I'll ever finish processing it. I'll never forget his name or the look in his eyes. This one may keep me up tonight.

Wordless Wednesday

Lord, please don't ever make me a senior pastor

that's a prayer that i've prayed for over 5 years now ever since i stepped into youth ministry and saw all that senior pastors "really" put up with (including us youth pastors that can be hard to handle at times). i'm thankful for a great senior pastor and i love his leadership in my life, both personally and professionally.

i saw this video promo for NYWC this year and made me think of all this... i'm more sold on this other conference, but this video is a 10 all around!